[yellowdog-announce] Terra Soft Rescues Steve Jobs; Saves Apple: Press Release 1 April 2006

yellowdog-announce at lists.terrasoftsolutions.com yellowdog-announce at lists.terrasoftsolutions.com
Sat Apr 1 09:17:52 MST 2006


LOVELAND, Colorado - 1 April 2006 - Terra Soft Solutions, the leading 
developer of integrated Power Architecture Linux solutions, in a bold 
reconnaissance mission last night rescued Steve Jobs from captivity.

Borrowing attack helicopters from a non-disclosed Department of Defense 
customer, Terra Soft used an RTOS version of Yellow Dog Linux running on Cell 
processors to fly a nightime sortie to the headquarters of the Intel 

Ben Ratliff, Terra Soft's Operations Manager lead a nervous but highly 
determined team into the heart of Intel's empire, and then into the depths of 
their Santa Clara facilities to retrieve Apple's rightful CEO from his 

"In December of '05 we received an email from a woman at Intel [whose identity 
remains confidential] wherein she claimed to have seen Steve Jobs working the 
evening production line shift. We at first assumed the communication was a 
hoax. But when a similar email arrived a week later from another source, and 
then in January a few more --we were compelled to investigate," states 

Terra Soft spent the better part of January, February, and March working to 
determine if there was truth in this otherwise impossible scenario.

Ratliff continues, "It was only when we received an unmarked Intel Apple 
laptop that the unbelievable was made painfully clear. Before we even 
powered-on the unit, we discovered written on the screen in what appeared to 
be streaks of sweat, the words, 'LONG LIVE PPC!' We immediately recognized 
the truth-- Steve Jobs had been abducted and cloned. Apple was under the 
control of an impostor."

"We have been working hard since this moment, planting spies, infiltrating 
servers, and planning for this monumental task. With help from sympathizers 
on the inside, we managed to save Steve and Apple from an otherwise certain 
demise," Ratliff concludes.

Once free from the confines of his prison of nearly one year, Jobs wore a 
tattered blue assembly line uniform but appeared in good spirits as he 
offered, "I am grateful for Terra Soft's courage in this rescue operation. I 
will this week announce the return of the full Apple product line to PowerPC. 
And as a demonstration of my gratitude to Terra Soft, replace OSX with YDL on 
all systems from here forward."

About Terra Soft Solutions, Inc.
Terra Soft is a leading Integrated Solutions Provider with proven expertise in 
the Power Architecture and Linux OS platform. As a company that seeks 
enjoyment in the challenges of business, Terra Soft hopes you enjoy the 
spring of 2006 and the growing diversity of products coming soon ... stay 

For more information, visit www.terrasoftsolutions.com

PowerPC is a trademark of IBM. Apple and OSX are registered trademarks of 
Apple Computer. Additional product and company names mentioned may be 
trademarks and/or registered trademarks of their respective holders.

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